Trip with Mom reflections — Paris 2019
Shopping is Paris’s eternal lure. From haute fashion houses, affordable luxury, fast retail, to life wear, it is a spur to the senses and wallet for those caught unaware. Commenting on various brands, finding hidden surprises in corner boutiques, and contrasting price and quality is one of the joys when shopping with Mom. 20 is the age when your figure comes to a standstill in metamorphosis, if you preserve yourself well. Shopping after this age is a search of quality, tailored, and timeless articles. Contrasting offers with patience, having a keen and curious eye for fashion, and warding off on-the-spot temptations nurture the best purchase. Delaying gratifications, devoting time to compare and observe, and aiming for quality and personal fit are pillars in building your timeless wardrobe.
I remember the initial weeks in Paris, when I was constantly on alert on the metro, clutching my bag, and shivering slightly in the cold. The state of vigilance passed with familiarity of Paris after a few weeks, as I became accustomed in the broad cultural diversity, created a ritual of reading on trains, and kept my belongings attended in my own way. I could only imagine Mom’s distress when stepping into such a diverse metropolis, with our “Paris metro trauma” 2 years ago still in memory.
Yet, there was a small insignificant (significant for Mom) predicament when we were taking pictures on the bridges of the Seine one bright sunny day. I observed a few youngsters handing out signing boards to tourists and told Mom about their trick when you are caught unaware. As I snapped a picture for Mom, she put down her Orsay Museum paper bag, and a small crowd of youngsters crowded towards her. Mom yelped a bit, and when I turned my head, I saw her making a kicking move towards them. “They tried to snatch at my bag!” protested Mom. It was a small shock, and I was glad we remained safe for the rest of the trip.
I learned more than I ever had about Mom in my past undergraduate years. Back home, she was the one in reign, mastering her duties of a professor and mother with diligence and intelligence. While in France, the roles reversed, and I was the one taking Mom around, showing her places, and guiding her through the fascinating, diverse, and rich captivations of France.
Being an adult, all grown-up, is an abstract concept. It is more than being granted independence, having financial freedom, and gaining professional knowledge. It is about having a deep sense of humble appreciation in being blessed with the people, places, and experiences that have educated, matured, and enriched our personal identity. It is about emotional intelligence — prevailing through challenges, cultivating genuine empathy for people, and managing our emotions through the highs and lows. Most of all, it is about being mindful of the simple abundances all around you, in cherishing the time with those closest to you, and letting love in while giving it back.
I used to take what I had for granted: the personal traits crafted, the hobbies cultivated, and the psychological security, and the material comfort back home. These are all characteristics and comfort that were subtlety shaped by Mom and Dad starting from day 1. I realized that growing up isn’t knowing more about the world, but rather giving back with a deep sense of appreciation, as Mom and Dad made me who I am today.
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What is eternal in life?
Not youth, material goods, nor achievements. What stays, are personal values cultivated, quality relationships forged, revelations inspired, and passionate pursuits that stay. No matter solo trips, journeys with family, or conversations with friends, mindsets, values, and personalities are layered and molded. My twenties will be the stage when continental exposure, people diversity, lifestyle transitions peak, providing me a wealth of experiences in exploring culture, interacting with people, and shaping my personal values — all pillars in searching for my personal calling.
“What cultures and ambience do I enjoy in cities, what can I not live without?” “What do I see as a way of work and life?” “What are personal pursuits that I’ll be constantly anchored towards?” “What defines gratification in work, family, and life?” “What do you see in quality relationships and long friendships?” These are questions that can be pieced together with life experiences. Slowing down enables me to think about what experiences mean to me, clarify motivations, craft goals, and establish personal values. It enables me to ask myself questions that are pivotal to the next stage of planning. Grateful for this past exchange journey coming to an end with Mom bringing me back home, as it always starts and ends with family.
